Is it just me or does it seem like the church, steeple, and all those people are cramming up inside every single woman and telling her it's time to marry or be a merry spinster. I'm only 21 yet I feel as if marriage is lurking. Instead of a storm cloud looming over my head filled with all the stresses of being 21, a student, and no employment prospects, it's a taffeta cloud with lasor cut fringe and reception hall virtual tours on rotation.
I'm young and not ready to be tied down and I would like to believe that that's the consensus for most American women my age. Yet, I go on facebook and see couples in my age range achieving landmark anniversaries, getting engaged, married, and having babies. Am I missing something? I totally get being in love and wanting to spend forever with someone but where in the hell did these 21 year olds get the funds to 1. go on romantic exotic getaway with his/her significant other 2. buy an engagement ring and 3. pay for a goddamn wedding. I don't know about you but I don't know of any 21 year olds with access to that much spare cash. As beautiful as the thought of a wedding is, it is only one day. If I am going to spend 40,000+ on a wedding, it's going to be with my own money. I don't know about you but why should my parents pay for a wedding that isn't even theirs? My parents didn't have a real wedding til their 25th anniversary. Sorry, but I'm eloping.
Now, aside from my money rant, the fact of the matter is that people my age are getting the "I want to get married" itch. It's as if this whole female autonomy thing isn't really working or maybe it's working too well. Now, women want the marriage but not the kids because now they can get one without the other or they can get one, wait a decade, and then have the other. It's like making your cake, throwing it in the freezer, forgetting about it, and not having it until your freezer breaks and stumble upon it once you're forced to clean it out.
When I first entered college, I thought I'd have a good decade before anyone even brought up the marriage thing or babies. Turns out, I was wrong. Within a year, two women I knew were moms, one was engaged, some women were taking trips to Mexico with their college boyfriends, and doing all sorts of other grown up things. I really didn't get it. It was as if they were living life in a world completely separate from my reality. They were the surreal world and I was in the perfect dimension where shit happened according to a set timeline. Watching them was like hoping in my TARDIS and being exposed to a new world. I just could not get with the program. Don't get me wrong. I did love watching the post baby bodies and witnessing the fact that a teen mom had a better social life than I could ever even imagine having. It was like watching reality tv without all the silicon.
My fourth year of college and two of my friends are in deeply committed relationships that make me want to hurl. Macy has been with her boyfriend for about 4 years and they talk about babies and a wedding. B is going on one year of her most intense relationship ever. Dude already plans on proposing 3 years from now and she even took his promise ring. I mean, really, what the shit is going on with the young 20somethings in my life. Are they a reflection of the generation? Is this really what's going on? Am I the crazy one? Should I be preparing my wedding, booking reception hall for 4 years from now, and find the man along the way? Are they in the right dimension and I'm in the wrong?
I'd have to say that I am because I'm feeling the pressure. In the back of my mind, a husband, children, a warm stable home, and pets are all living. I work and do with all of that in mind. I aim to achieve them. Is it just my gender norms influencing me or is it societal norms. A small part of me feels like I should already be with my soon to be husband. I'm getting annoyed being single because I want my forever guy. I want to be talking about the church, the steeple, and all the people. Am I just being a woman or am I craving what everyone else expects of me? Could it be that all the pressure is coming just from me?
AM
No comments:
Post a Comment